The loss of a baby can be a deeply distressing experience at any stage of a pregnancy. Many women experience intense emotions while also dealing with the physical impact and hormonal upheaval.
The sense of bonding between a woman and her unborn baby can be very strong. It is understandable that you may feel a profound sense of grief not only for the loss of the pregnancy, but also your future plans and dreams for both the child and yourself as a parent.
For others, guilt or shame may arise if the pregnancy evoked negative feelings or if a sense of loss is not felt as you think it should be.
Often the reason for the loss will never be known. This can be difficult to accept and is made even more complex if a parent feels they are somehow to blame, no matter how unwarranted those feelings are.
Relationships can also be tested. Although shared, the loss of a pregnancy can be experienced very differently by each parent and your partner may not express their grief in the same way. Some women feel isolated and silenced, or fear they won’t be able to contain their grief within socially acceptable limits. Others may feel resentful towards friends who are pregnant or have had a baby.
With subsequent pregnancies, there can be an anxious preoccupation to conceive and fear that another tragic loss may occur. Unexpected triggers and anniversary dates may bring up powerful emotions even years later.
Everyone's experience of losing a pregnancy is different and there is no right or wrong way to feel or respond.
It can be unnecessarily tough to work through the many emotions that can surface on your own. Many women find it helpful to confide in a professional at these times to find the support they need to move forward.
Cloudberry Clinic is here to help.
Written by Wendy Roncolato and Prue Foster
